If you’re really stuck on conversation topics, you can always start with larger discussion points and narrow it down. [2] X Research source You might start by asking her about her hobbies or job aspirations. Once you bridge that initial gap, she’ll open up about those topics, giving you room to investigate deeper. If she says she’s into sailing, you can follow up with a barrage of other questions about that particular interest. Figure out who taught her how to sail or where she enjoys sailing. This could open up conversations about her experiences growing up, her love for nature, and more.
Be succinct. If you speak for too long, you might talk yourself into a hole or worse, embarrass her. Don’t exaggerate. There’s no need to call her the most amazing woman on Earth. Your compliments will work if they seem real and genuine, not extreme. Be as specific as possible. Telling a girl that she’s “beautiful” or “awesome” will do very little for you. If you’ve observed her behavior and listened to her conversations, then you’ll have a good basis for real compliments. Don’t be excessive. If you throw out a couple compliments over the course of one date or interaction, you’ll be in good shape. Anything more than that might seem a little desperate, and each compliment will lose impact.
Even if you don’t think of yourself as a particularly funny person, there are still ways to make her laugh. Try the “push-pull” technique. This essentially requires that you “push” her away by deeming yourself unworthy of her. If paired with a nice compliment, though, you’ll be simultaneously “pulling” her toward you by expressing your interest. This will make things feel playful. A good example of the “push-pull technique might be: “You’re a pretty cool girl, too bad you’re stuck with me. "
For a dinner date, especially if you live in an urban location, you’ll probably want to wear some sort of jacket. This could be a blazer or a sport coat; whatever you’d prefer. In certain situations, a full suit and tie may even be appropriate. If you’re going out at night, it’s better to overdress. You can shed the coat and let your date wear it if it gets too cold. If you’re worried about looking overdressed, it’s hard to go wrong with a fitted collared shirt, jeans/khakis, and a nice pair of shoes. [8] X Research source It’s a tried and true look, and it’s one that strikes a nice balance between formal and comfortable. Make sure that the shirt isn’t wrinkled and that your pants are clean and without any rips. For the shoes, you’ll want to be sitting in some place between your weekend sneakers and dress shoes.
Floss every day. Your dentist will definitely thank you for this one. This extra step will not only help prevent gum disease, but will also dramatically improve the smell of your breath. Getting an electric toothbrush isn’t a bad idea either. Wash your feet. Doing this every day will help eliminate the need for more dramatic measures, like foot odor spray. This will require more than simply letting your feet soak in water, though. Get a wash cloth, rubbing between your toes and on the bottoms of your feet. Change your sheets and pillowcase weekly, if not more. This is one that many guys forget about. It’s important even if she doesn’t come over to your place afterwards. Clean sheets will help you eliminate acne, or worse, bacne.
Seating is huge for a first date. Your best bet is to find somewhere with bar stools, even if you’re doing a full dinner. You’ll be closer to her and both of you will be able to be more physically animated. Couches also work well, and a table can be fine. Try to avoid booths if you can. You’ll sink into them, and it’s easy to get stuck. While dinner and drinks are fairly common for a first date, there’s no need to limit yourself to just that. [10] X Research source Bar trivia nights have a great deal of potential, as both of you can unleash your knowledge about a wide range of topics. You’ll also be working together as a team, which will ally you from the beginning. Bowling is both competitive and extremely calming, and you can engage in some friendly competition. For the more daring, cooking and salsa classes might be an exciting first step.
If you’re stressed out about the date itself, there are ample ways to reduce those negative feelings. You don’t want to sabotage the experience from the get-go. Make a list of deal-breakers and deal-makers. It’s helpful to have a mental list of what you want from this particular date. Talk it out with a friend, especially one who has dating experience. And above all, make sure you’re telling yourself that the date will go well. You’ll never enjoy the experience if you don’t believe that you will.
This also might mean being “public” with your relationship using the internet. Posting photos with each other is definitely a step in your relationship. Because a great deal of socialization occurs on Facebook and Instagram now, it’s important that if you’re serious about your relationship, you aren’t afraid to be share photos featuring the girl that you’re seeing.
It’s very important not to be too touchy with her around her girlfriends. They may not be comfortable seeing you two all over each other. It should feel different to socialize with her friends, and you have to be sensitive to them, as well as her. If you treat them like friends, then they’ll slowly become your friends. Even though her friends will probably have temperaments that align closely to hers, you definitely don’t want to offend them. [14] X Research source Avoid inflammatory topics like politics on the first meeting. You also shouldn’t get too graphic or offensive. She might have an inappropriate sense of humor, but you don’t know if her friends will. It’s best to play it safe and leave the filthy stuff at the door.
She’ll be able to trust you if she knows that you’ve been listening to her. This means that you’ll be able to remember a wide variety of details about her past or her current troubles. If she doesn’t feel that you’re really paying attention to her, then she’ll quickly push you away. Remember that if you listen to her, she’ll want to listen to you as well.
Assess how long it has been, as well as how often you see each other. This is where you can find some clarity. If you only see each other once or twice a week, then you may not feel the rush to talk. If you talk or see each other every day, however, you might want to move the DTR talk up sooner. If you’re both on the same page about sex, then you’ll probably be able to prolong the talk for longer. When one of you wants to wait, however, this might make the talk more immediate. Remember that if you haven’t decided that you’re exclusive, you aren’t exclusive. When you do talk, make sure that you’re blunt with your terms. “Serious” and “casual” have different definitions for everyone. Make sure that you’re not just asking her about what she wants; it’s also important that you also state what you want. You want to stand up for yourself without being insensitive. Remember that the DTR talk is ongoing. Even though you may have come up with a temporary agreement about the state of your relationship, things will change over time. As long as you’re honest with each other about shifts in your relationship, no one will feel deceived.
