Even if you know that he’s going to ask you out, and you want to say no, you don’t want to cut him off. Cutting him off while he’s talking makes you appear overly eager to reject him and rude. Keep a respectful distance from him, and smile slightly. Don’t move closer to him, or give him any body language indication that you might be interested.
Don’t make excuses. You don’t need to lie. Unless it’s true, don’t tell him that you’re in a relationship. Don’t give him a line like, “I just got out of a relationship, and I’m not ready to date. ” Even if this is true, it might give him false hope that you’ll change your mind, and that’s not fair to him. Be straight forward, and polite. Say something like, “You seem like a nice guy, but I just don’t like you that way. I appreciate that you thought to ask me. ” This makes your stance clear but still seems slightly softer than a blatant no. Keep it short. You don’t need to give a long-winded rejection just to seem nice.
If you don’t actually want to be friends with him, don’t say you want to be friends. Simply tell him you’re not interested and that you hope he has a nice day, and walk away. If you do tell him you want to be friends, make sure he knows that your feelings about the situation aren’t going to change. You don’t want to give him any false hope. Say something like, “Sorry, I’m not interested in you in a romantic way, but I know someone else will be. I like talking with you, and I’d love to be friends. ”
Don’t come across as defensive. You have every right to choose who you date. Being defensive can make you sound more aggressive or disgusted than you mean to sound. Speak with the tone of an apology. You want to sound open and apologetic, even while still being firm in your answer. Try to make eye contact with him at least once when you are speaking.
Also, don’t give him the silent treatment, and hope he gets the point. The polite way to handle the situation is to give him a response. Even though you want to respond in a timely manner, within the day that he sends the message, take a little time to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it.
For example, instead of telling him, “Sorry, you aren’t really my type,” say something more like, “I’m really sorry. I just don’t see you in a romantic way. ” Or say: “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t see this developing into anything further for me. ”
Use complete sentences and words. Instead of typing, “No thx. I’m just not really interested in u like that,” Say, “Thanks for asking, but I just don’t see you that way. ” Add something polite after your rejection. This can help you end the conversation and also soften the blow. Write something like, “Sorry. Wish you the best, John!”
Don’t leave your answer open-ended. Make sure that he won’t think you might be interested in the future. Make your answer final. Even if you do want to be friends, make sure you say, “I don’t see myself having romantic feelings for you, but I’d love to be friends!” instead of “Do you mind if we just stay friends right now?” Even though you want to be final and firm when you send your message, also try to find something positive to say. For example, say, “I appreciate that you asked me because I’ve enjoyed talking to you, but I just don’t have romantic feelings for you. ”
Say something like, “I’m sorry. I just didn’t really feel a connection on our date. Hope you find someone great!” If you aren’t attracted to him but want to be friends say, “I had a lot of fun with you, but I didn’t really feel a romantic connection. Would you like to be friends with me?” Asking him if he wants to be friends is straightforward and lets him know that even though you don’t want to date, you still appreciate interactions with him.
If you’ve only been out on a date or two, it’s fine to tell him you’re not interested in a text message. [9] X Research source That way, you can craft a tactful message, and he doesn’t have to feel embarrassed in person. However, if you know you’re not interested at the end of your first date, go ahead and let him know. Before you part ways, say something like, “Hey. Just so you know I don’t think there’s really anything here for me, but I’m glad we got the chance to go out. ” This will save you from agonizing over when to tell him.
If he continually texts you after you’ve rejected him, it’s okay to ignore the messages. If you do talk to him, be careful to avoid flirting or confusing him.
