Maybe you are cranky if you go out more than two evenings in one week. If this is the case, create a rule for yourself that two nights is your limit. If someone asks you to do something after your limit is reached, you’ll feel justified saying no. You can also apply this to other situations. For example, agree to only participating in one fundraiser a semester at your child’s school. Set a limit of meeting someone for lunch only one day during the workweek. Try to balance your schedule. On days when you have a lot of work responsibilities, schedule some time for self-care when you come home.
You can even schedule things like alone time for yourself. This method can help you make sure that you get everything done that you need (or want) to do. Of course, if something important comes up, you can always be flexible and make an exception. For example, if you need to visit the dentist, you might have to cancel your relaxing Saturday morning.
For example, maybe your list says, “finish presentation for Monday, write objectives for next week’s department meeting, leave on time for Aunt Ruth’s birthday dinner. ” If a coworker asks you to stay late to help them with their own project, it is okay to say, “I’m sorry, I have a family commitment this evening. ”
If an acquaintance asks you to join their spin class and you’re more of a yoga person, don’t feel bad about declining. You can ask them if they’d like to join you in your class! You don’t have to say yes every time someone asks you on a date. Even if you’re in a relationship, you still need some alone time. You can say, “Thanks for asking, but I really just feel like staying home alone. " If your partner pressures you, you may want to reassess your relationship. Of course, you will sometimes have to do things that you don’t feel like doing. But don’t feel like you have to attend every work happy hour just to be polite. Give yourself some time before you answer. It can sometimes take a few hours or even a day to think about an invitation. Take some time so you can determine if it fits your schedule and priorities.
You could say, “I’m sorry, that just won’t work for me. ” Another way to say no is simply, “No, I can’t do that. ” If someone asks if they can buy you a drink, feel free to just say, “No, thanks. "
You could say, “Let me check my calendar. I believe I already have a commitment that weekend. ” Try counting slowly to three before responding. This way, you’ll seem to be considering the request.
For example, you could say, “Wow! A cookie exchange sounds like such a fun idea! I’m sorry that I won’t be able to come. It sounds like I’ll be missing a good time. ”
You can also say, “I’m afraid I can’t dog sit for you. Your puppy is cute, but I don’t think my cat would agree. ”
You can also say, “I appreciate that you think I’d make a good team captain. However, I’m more comfortable not having a leadership role. ”
Instead of, “Maybe I can try to make that work,” say, “I’m sorry, I have my own presentation to finish. I can’t help with yours. ” If someone is asking you on a date and you don’t want to go, make that clear. You can say, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel a connection. I’m going to have to turn down your offer. "
Maybe one of your friends wants to take your relationship to the next level. Try saying, “I know you’re an awesome person. That’s why I value you as a friend, and I’d love for things to stay that way. "
Offer your family as an excuse. You can say, “I’d love to, but I promised my daughter that Sunday afternoons will be our special time together. ”[14] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source Be careful not to blame others. You can just use them to explain your prior commitments.
If it is something that you want to do, say, “None of those times work for me. Can you send me more dates? I’d love to make this work. ”
For example, you could say, “Unfortunately, I don’t have the time this year to chair that committee. Planning the meetings would be too much for me right now. However, I’m happy to continue to serve as a regular committee member. ” Maybe the person you’re dating expects you to attend all of their work functions with them. It is okay to say, “I’m sorry, I have my own thing that night. But let’s have dinner this weekend!” If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, you’ll need to have a talk with them about your needs.
