If you have trouble participating in class, read your assigned chapter closely, and jot down comments that you could make. Try to anticipate topics you’ll discuss in class. For instance, your teacher might ask about a short story’s conflict or characters.
For example, when you read an assignment, think of questions you could ask in class. Note anything that confuses you or observations you could make. Write them down in a notebook, and visualize yourself raising your hand and speaking loudly and clearly. Before a work meeting, write down a few ideas or any issues that you want to mention. You might write down your new marketing idea, or that you think the sales team needs to learn more about how the products they sell are manufactured.
When you want to interject, speak loudly, but try not to shout. Keep in mind preparing in advance can help you develop the confidence to interject in a fast-paced, loud conversation. [4] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Come out and say your idea, or start with something like, “I’d like to expand on that point,” “While we’re on this topic,” or “If I may. ” Raising your hand or making a gesture could also help you quickly call attention to yourself. [5] X Research source
If you listen to what other people in a group are saying, you might think of more things to say. You might feel that you spend all of your time listening and never get a chance to speak. Just try to pay attention and do your best to find opportunities to express yourself.
Maybe you noticed an error in a blueprint at work, but you’re afraid to bring it up because you don’t want to embarrass the person who made it. You can correct the issue tactfully without calling the person out in front of the entire department. Be clear and direct if you need to bring up an issue, but cushion your statement so you don’t sound too aggressive. For instance, “I think we need to reevaluate our quarterly quotas,” comes off better than, “These quotas are just completely unrealistic. ”
Suppose you’re a manager, someone on staff is killing team morale, and you’re not confident about your ability to speak up about bad behavior. Instead of scolding them in front of other employees, pull them aside and explain that you’d like to help them fit in better with the office culture. If you’re a student, and you think your teacher is giving you a hard time, don’t call them out in class. Instead, ask them to speak in private after class, and bring up your concerns in a respectful manner.
If you want to speak up, being clear and reasonable is more effective than crying or screaming.
Try saying, “You might be entitled to your opinion, but please don’t tell offensive jokes around me. ”
Try saying, “I’ve always known you to be a fair, kind person. It shocks me that you’d insult someone like that. ”
For instance, say “I disagree, and I’d prefer if you didn’t use that sort of language around me. ” You might say, “I find that statement racist, and I’d like to talk about something else now. ”[13] X Research source If they persist or become argumentative, calmly say, “I think l we should both try to keep our tempers in check. We don’t see eye to eye on this, and an argument would just waste our time. Let’s agree to disagree and change the subject. ”
If you’ve tried to switch subjects but they’ve persisted, say, “I think we both need to cool down and walk away. I respect your right to have an opinion, but I’m not interested in having a shouting match. ”
Try focusing your thoughts on the 3 Cs: calm, cool, and collected. Close your eyes and think each word to yourself clearly and slowly. Say each word, and see yourself becoming calm, cool, and collected as your jitters float away.
For example, if there’s something wrong with your meal at a restaurant, politely bring up the issue to the server. Try chatting with the person sitting next to you in class, or making a quick comment during a work meeting.
Each time you speak up in any setting, pat yourself on the back. Tell yourself, “I did it, and I survived! It wasn’t so bad. People are just people; I don’t have to be afraid to talk to others. ”[18] X Research source
You shouldn’t look down or shift your eyes nervously, but you don’t want to stare blankly at someone either. Look them in the eye or, if it’s more comfortable, between their eyes or at their forehead.
For example, if you need extra help with a topic at school, make your needs clear to your teacher in a polite way. Let them know, “I know you’re busy, but I’d like a few minutes of your time. I’m a little confused about the lesson today, and could use some clarification. ”[20] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
Treat setbacks as learning opportunities. You’re still breathing and you learned something new. There will be plenty of other opportunities to speak your mind or make a point.
