Crossing your arms, pursing your lips, and slouching could give you an angry appearance, even if you aren’t. Instead, stand straight up, place your arms in a neutral position, and keep your face relaxed. [1] X Research source
For instance, you might say, “Whoa, the tension in here is so thick, I could spread it on my toast. " Consider who you are arguing with before you pull out the comedy routine. Your goal isn’t to make anyone more upset. Rather, it’s to calm down a tense situation. [2] X Research source
Instead, think about how you would want the opposition to speak to you. Then do your best to communicate in that manner, even if the person is yelling at you. [3] X Research source
For example, say “I felt disrespected by what you said” instead of “You always disrespect me. ” Using “I” statements allows you to get something off of your chest without directly putting the blame on someone. [4] X Research source
For example, if this argument isn’t really going to change how you feel about the other person, don’t let it. Remember that you care about them, and this is just a misunderstanding.
Look online for games and puzzles that encourage and train mental flexibility. Engaging in these activities regularly can help you stay calm under pressure. [6] X Research source For example, if you had a heated discussion with your partner at lunch, and you promised to finish the discussion later, you may anticipate a disagreement later. Use the time in between to prepare yourself for the discussion.
For instance, you may want to act more formal with your boss than you would your parent. On the other hand, your friend may respond to a softer and more personable approach. [7] X Research source
Also come up with a few fact-based statements that can help your argument end on a positive note. [8] X Research source For example, you might choose to say, “We are on the same side here. " or “We love each other, so I know we can come to an agreement. "
For instance, you might say, “Why don’t we both take 20 minutes to jot down some possible solutions? We can meet back up and go over what we came up with. How does that sound?”
Pay attention to your breaths as you are taking them. Concentrate on how the breaths make your body feel rather than the argument itself. [9] X Research source
For example, you can tell yourself, “Yes, I’m angry. But it will soon go away and I’ll stop feeling so upset. ” Saying this can help you to feel more comfortable knowing that this emotion will soon disappear. [10] X Research source If you can’t get your anger under control, wait until later to have the conversation.
For example, touch a table or chair around you and pay attention to how it feels. Look at a picture on the wall in the distance to help you feel like you have more space than what you actually do. This can help you feel less cornered and under pressure. [11] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
