Be sure to encourage your partner to open up to you, as well. Pay attention to unspoken communication, too—your partner’s tone of voice and body language can be important clues to their emotional state. [2] X Research source
For example, you might say something like, “You know, my job can be really stressful sometimes, but when I get home, you’re there and you’re happy to see me, and my day just instantly gets better. " Let them know you notice the little things, too—a simple, “Thank you for taking out the trash!” can really go a long way.
Quality time can be as simple as drinking coffee together in the morning, going for a walk on the weekend, or watching your favorite show together at night. Regular dates are an important part of quality time, too. Just make sure you’re spending time together in between special occasions. If you can’t be together in person, make sure you schedule regular times to catch up over the phone or on video calls.
Keep in mind that the end of the honeymoon phase is not a bad thing, but rather an important step in your relationship. Now is the time you get to know your partner better and cultivate a long-lasting, loving relationship.
Try going back to the spot where you had your first date for a fun way to stir up some of those old feelings! Looking back through pictures from when you started dating can help you remember how you felt when you first met your partner, too. Try writing down a list of everything you love about your partner. Be as specific as possible, like “The way his eyes light up when he talks about music,” or “The way she can always think of something positive to say. " When things get tough, like the two of you have an argument, look back over that list.
Try setting aside a night or day each week where you both do something on your own or with friends.
Trust your partner by telling them your secrets, letting them handle things on their own, and going to them when you need someone to support you.
Eat a nutritious diet and stay hydrated Be physically active Get enough sleep Do things that help you relieve stress Make time for self-care Set goals for yourself and work toward them
Call your partner a flirty nickname, like “handsome,” “cutie,” or “beautiful. " Reach for their hand or put your arm around their waist when they’re not expecting it. Give them a wink and a grin from across the room. Send them a flirty text, like, “I keep getting distracted from work because I’m thinking about you!”
Many traditions evolve over time as a result of your mutual likes and dislikes. For example, you might both enjoy watching the Oscars and start a tradition of having an Oscar watching party where you both dress up and present each other with an award.
Gifts don’t have to be expensive—it can be as simple as bringing home flowers or picking up their favorite pasta when they’re too busy to cook dinner. You don’t even necessarily have to buy something. Try leaving a sweet note in their pocket before they leave for work, or send them a thoughtful text when you know they’re having a tough day. [15] X Research source
Being spontaneous can be as simple as calling off dinner and going out for ice cream or having an impromptu slow dance after the kids are in bed. Or, you could take a quick weekend trip when the weather is nice.
Take a ballroom class, sign up for painting lessons, or build something together, for instance.
This works best in situations where you can comfortably have in-depth conversations, so try inviting another couple to join you for dinner at your favorite restaurant the next time you feel like shaking things up.
If you really can’t get away right now, spend some time planning your ultimate vacation together. Talk about where you’d both like to go, then research hotels, restaurants, and things to do in town. Sooner or later that dream vacay might just become a reality![20] X Research source
The longer you’re together, the better you’ll get at knowing what turns your partner on. Instead of getting complacent, take advantage of that and change things up every now and then! Don’t skip the foreplay—tease your partner by sending them flirty texts, brushing against them when you pass in the hallway, or giving them an extra-long kiss before they leave for work.
When the two of you disagree about something, take turns talking about your point of view, and make a point of really listening to the other person. Then, try to find a compromise that works for both of you. Try not to hold on to past disagreements, but don’t sweep them under the rug, either. It’s important to be open and honest so resentment doesn’t build up—but once something is over, let it go. Remember, you’re a team. It’s the two of you against a problem, not against each other!
Try to use “I” statements to describe your feelings, rather than pointing the finger at your partner. For instance, you might say, “I really love you and I want you to be around for a long time. I’m a little worried because you haven’t been to the doctor to see about your cough. Can we talk about it?” You might also say, “When you leave your dirty clothes on the floor it makes me feel frustrated and anxious. Is there anything we could do to make it easier to put clothes in the hamper?”
Always apologize for what you did wrong, even if you feel like your partner started an argument. For instance, you might say, “I’m sorry that I started to yell when I got frustrated. I should have taken a break when my emotions took over. " Don’t blame your partner when things go wrong, and don’t let them blame you. Instead, you should both take responsibility for your part in things. [25] X Research source
Remember, you have to be willing to give forgiveness to get forgiveness, and you are going to make your share of mistakes too. Accept your partner’s quirks, as well. Everyone has different preferences and habits, and you cannot expect your partner to do everything just like you do. It’s just a part of who they are![27] X Research source
It can sometimes help to repeat back what your partner is saying to make sure you understand each other. For instance, you might say, “It sounds like you’re saying you’re frustrated because I’ve been working long hours, right?”
For example, if you and your partner both want to see a different movie on your date night, one of you might say, “Okay, let’s see the one you want to see this week. ” Then the other person can choose the next time. Sometimes you might need to come up with a totally new solution. If one of you wants Greek food and the other wants Mexican and neither of you can sway the other, you might end up going for Thai instead. You could even agree to pick up food from two different places. You may encounter bigger compromises at some point in your relationship as well. For example, if you are offered a job in another state, your partner would have to decide if they would be willing to give up their job and friends so you could take that job.
