If you’ve never done something creative before, don’t be afraid. Try something that interests you, even if you don’t know if you’ll be any good at it. Remember that you’re doing this for you. Practice expressing yourself creatively without worrying what others will think, or planning to show off what you make.
Notice if most of your posts seem like bragging, or like showing off. Notice if your posts often express feeling sorry for yourself, or seem like you’re fishing for compliments or support. An attention-seeking post could be, “Always having the most fun with the coolest friends in the world!!”, whereas you could instead post a picture of your friends and write, “So grateful to have such great friends in my life. " If you need support, instead of writing something like, “Worst day of anyone’s life, ever. I totally want to crawl into a hole and die right now,” you could write, “I had a really terrible day today. Is anyone available to talk? I could use some company. " It’s okay to ask directly for support with social media. However, be clear that you’re asking for support, and keep the conversation private once someone offers.
Are there people in your community who are in need? You could volunteer your time at a soup kitchen or retirement home. You could also volunteer at your local library, reading to kids or helping students with homework after school. Spend time with friends and family, and ask them about their own lives. Remember how much you care about them, and spend time investing in what they have to say. You can invent a way of focusing on others that’s fun for you. For example, you could organize a coat drive in the winter, or organize a neighborhood cleanup. However, don’t compare yourself to others, as this often leads to inadequacy. Usually, comparisons stack your everyday experiences up against other people’s highlight reels, which can make you feel bad about yourself. This can make you seek attention even more. [5] X Research source
You can’t change the past, but you can learn valuable lessons from it. Tell yourself how great it is that you’ve learned something new and can change the way you do things in the future. If you remember certain times that you acted in an attention-seeking way in the past, forgive yourself for those things, too. The fact that you can acknowledge those behaviors means you can work to prevent them in the future. Talk to yourself kindly, the way that you would to a friend having a difficult time. Say to yourself, “I know I messed up that time, but I was doing my best in the moment. Everyone messes up sometimes. It’s okay, and I’ll try to do things differently next time. "
Practice being yourself and acting in a way that feels genuine, without worrying what people will think. You can make a practice of doing one thing each day, when you feel that you’re being true to how you feel in the moment. This could mean saying something honest that you haven’t before, such as, “Actually, I don’t like going to that cafe very much. " It can also mean doing something differently, such as wearing an outfit that’s comfortable, even if it’s not stylish. You can develop personal affirmations to help you accept yourself. You can say something like, “I am a valuable, lovable person the way that I am,” or, “I accept and love all aspects of myself even as I work to grow and change. ”
You can find books or websites that offer meditation techniques, or visit a meditation center to find guidance on how to begin meditating. You can also use an app, such as Insight Timer, Calm, or Headspace. If meditating isn’t right for you, practice mindfulness by noticing the physical sensations you’re experiencing. If you start to get distracted by guilt, shame, or unpleasant memories, just notice the feeling of your clothes on your skin, or your feet on the ground.
Write down your commitment. You can put it on a calendar, marking the day you commit to start working on it. Write down daily or weekly goals, such as, “I will meditate for five minutes each day,” or, “Each week, I will volunteer 5 hours of my time to a charitable cause. ” Tell someone else about your commitment. Tell a trusted friend or family member. They can check in on you to see if you’ve followed through on your commitments.
When you’re alone, do things that you enjoy. This will help being alone feel more fun and enticing. You can read your favorite books and magazines, walk around your favorite park or neighborhood, or dedicate time to a favorite hobby. It may be uncomfortable to spend time alone at first. However, push through that discomfort and you’ll begin to cherish the time you get by yourself.
Be gentle with yourself as you progress. Making big changes in yourself doesn’t happen overnight. Praise yourself for any positive changes. [10] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RDLicensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. Give yourself credit for the work you’ve done. Say to yourself, “Great job. You’ve really been doing your best at this, and it’s working. "
Journaling can help you explore your feelings. You can also talk to a therapist who can help you identify your underlying issues.
Choose someone whom you see or interact with regularly. That way, they’ll be able to notice your behaviors on a more regular basis. Make sure the person will be willing to tell you things that you might not want to hear. Make sure the person is able to be kind and compassionate, even when sharing things that may sound critical.
If you don’t know which behaviors to look for, you can simply tell the person that you’re worried that you’re an attention seeker. Ask them to point out any behaviors that reflect that. You can also ask the person if they’ve already noticed anything you do that seems like attention seeking. Say something like, “I’m trying to work on my attention-seeking behaviors. Have you noticed any of them? Would you be willing to keep an eye out and let me know if you notice me doing things for attention?”
Common addictions that are often paired with attention seeking are alcoholism, drug abuse, and compulsive eating. Being an attention seeker does not necessarily mean you’re at higher risk for addiction. Seeking help from a group can be useful whether or not you have one other person whom you’ve asked for help. You can find listings for local support groups online. If there is not a group in your area, there may be online groups that can provide support.
You can seek out a therapist for individual sessions, or see if they have a therapy group that would make sense for you. You can find listings for local therapists online. Many sites will have profiles of each therapist. You can see if they have a specific focus, or have experience dealing with your particular problems. Some therapists may accept health insurance or offer sliding scale payment plans.
