Be brutally honest with yourself about your behavior. Some typical ways that attention whores behave include: faking illness, acting in overly dramatic ways, causing harm to others to look like a hero in the situation, putting yourself as a leader in any situation, acting overly busy and very important, pretending to be a victim at the smallest situation. [1] X Research source Think about specific situations where you were the center of attention. Ask yourself, “Was I doing or saying things that made sure that others saw and heard me?” Look over your social media accounts, which are often the site of behaviors of an attention whore. See if you are making ridiculous statements or posting inappropriate photos. Reading people’s reactions or checking how many “likes” you have can help you figure out if you’re an attention whore. Also ask yourself, “Do I constantly check how many people liked and commented on my post?”
When do I seek attention? Is there someone in particular I want to impress? Do I feel insecure and then try to make someone else look or feel bad? Do I feed off of people reacting to my behavior, even if it is mean or inappropriate? Are my attempts to get any kind of attention successful? Is the type of attention I’m getting the kind I want?
Watch how people respond when you start talking. Do they move away? Do you notice that some are rolling their eyes? These can be good signs that you’re seeking too much attention and turning off others with your behavior. Listen to what people say when you speak. If you hear a, “Come on, Avery,” or “We can all see and hear your, Avery,” people may think you’re an attention whore. Some people may even make remarks like, “Why do you always have to be the center of attention, Avery?” or “Oh my goodness, you’re such an attention whore, Avery. ” These are good signs others think you are an attention whore. Watch people’s body language when you are in a group and the center of attention. Some physical signals you may be annoying them with your attention whore ways include: crossing arms, huffing or sighing, looking at anything but you, turning away from you, rubbing their faces in exasperation, giving you “death stares,”
Write some notes about things that make you feel insecure or bad about yourself. Consider things such as your childhood experiences with parents and friends. You may not have had a lot of attention from family members or not had a lot of friends. Both of these can cause you to crave constant attention. Think about when you starting seeking so much attention—maybe it was caused by wanting to be like someone else or feeling like someone didn’t properly recognize you for an accomplishment. Ask yourself questions such as, “Why do I need this attention? What does it bring to me?” You should also think about what would happen if you stopped getting this attention.
Consider asking family members to help you if your behavior is related to not getting enough attention as a kid. Be very gentle in the way you approach the subject. For example, “Hey mom, I’ve really started to do some things that I’m not proud of to get attention. I realize it’s because I always felt lonely as a kid. Could we spend some quality time together—just the two of us? I’d really love that. ” Recognize that it is difficult to ask a person to tell you how they really feel about your behavior. In some cases, the person may not feel comfortable. Approach the situation delicately. You can say, “Sam, I need your opinion on something. I think I may be trying to get attention at all costs. Do you think I’ve been doing this? Please be honest with me. I know it’s hard, but you mean a lot to me and I really value your opinion. I won’t be hurt by what you say. ”
Make a concerned effort to get positive feedback from your friends, parents, and superiors. For example, study hard for a test or put in extra hours at work without telling anyone. Although you may not get immediate feedback, someone will notice and may say, “Hey Logan, you’ve put in a lot of great work. It really shows and I’m so pleased with your final grade/ project. Keep it up!”
Recognize that you may have setbacks, which are normal. The key is to remind yourself of what is positive in your life to keep you from reverting to attention-seeking behavior. Use setbacks as a positive. Tell yourself, “Ok, I didn’t do that well, but I can learn from the feedback and knock the next section out of the park. ” Consider helping someone, which may help you refocus on the positive. Remember to not advertise what you did and let the person thank you and give any public praise he or she wishes. Even simple acts of kindness can help you feel better and may keep you from indulging in your attention-whore behaviors. [7] X Research source
Focus on your positive traits internally as much as you can. For example, you might be a kind and giving person. Instead of showing off your accomplishments, show off those of others. You could say, “Let’s raise our glasses to Taylor’s graduation from college. She did such an amazing job and graduate with highest honors. ”
Try finding alternatives to certain behaviors. For example, if you seek attention on social media, go to a site that has the latest news or articles on cooking and traveling. Do this every day and it can keep you from the temptations of social media over time. You could also choose to go to an intimate and quiet restaurant for a glass of wine instead of happy hour at a bar. Find ways to channel any energy you spent on getting attention. You could take cooking classes, volunteer with a local charity, or try a new sport or activity such as yoga or painting. Creating new habits allows you to change your thoughts and behavior towards others, this in turn decreases the need to seek praise outwardly from others. [10] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RDLicensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
Recognize that there are many benefits of focusing your time on one or two people including that it helps you strengthen those relationships. It also can really help you notice and change your behaviors as an attention whore. Schedule fun activities with one or two people. Suggest a day trip or a quiet dinner at your home. If the friends ask if they can bring someone, kindly decline. You can say, “I’d love to meet your friend, Allie, but I’m really working at developing my friendships and changing my need to be the center of attention. Being around a lot of people makes me do this. Can we just keep it to us for now?”
Delete your accounts entirely or deactivate them until you feel ready to try social media. Deleting accounts can take away temptation to read and make posts and give you a chance to show your changed self with a brand new account. Deal with any questions about why you’re gone by saying, “You know, I just decided to take a break and focus on myself. I could have so much more time to do the things I love without the distraction of social media. This includes seeing you more often. ”
See a counselor, social worker, psychologist, or a psychiatrist for help with your behavior. Tell the person honestly why you’ve come for counseling. Answer any questions the therapist has for you. These can give your therapist insight on the causes of you being an attention whore and how best to tackle it.
