When you feel yourself getting angry or irritable, ask yourself, “Is it because I’m jealous?”
To figure out why things triggers, spend some time writing about it in a journal or talking about it with a trusted friend. Keep digging deeper to find the source.
Instead, realize that no one succeeds at the same pace. You are right where you need to be right now, and you are enough.
For instance, you could say to yourself, “Yes, I made a mistake, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. I’ll do better next time. " Increasing your self-esteem overall helps you become less competitive. Often, if you’re a very competitive person, your self-esteem may be dependent on you doing well. If you fail at something, your self-esteem also falls. Learning to hold on to your self-worth no matter the situation can help you become less competitive. [6] X Research source
For instance, you may blow things out of proportion; you make a mistake and think that everyone sees you as a failure. Instead, try to put that in proportion. Was the mistake really that big a deal? Did anyone actually say that you are a failure or not up to the job? Other times, you may take your successes and turn them into failures. For example, you might say, “My boss praised that report, but it was only good because I used the numbers from accounting. " Instead, it’s important to celebrate your successes when they come. You might also think that what you’re feeling is absolute fact. If you’re feeling like an idiot, you may think everyone else sees you that way, too, when in reality, they all likely have respect for you. Another way you may interpret situations negatively is to take small, non-relevant indicators as proof that something is wrong. For instance, if you text someone and they don’t text back for a few days, you may think, “My friend must hate me at the moment,” when in reality, there are plenty of reasons they might not have replied, including they may not have seen the text.
Don’t forget to adjust your vision of yourself. You change and grow over time, and so do your abilities. That means that you can’t judge yourself by a past version of yourself. For instance, maybe you were once stellar at science, but you’ve let those skills slide in favor of other ones. That’s fine, just keep in mind you’re not the scientist you once were, but now you can make a killer omelet or write an amazing article. [9] X Research source
For instance, maybe you wrote a paper for class. You may find yourself focusing on all the mistakes you made. Instead, think about how far you’ve come. Read a paper from a year ago, and you’re bound to see how you’ve improved.
When you start feeling jealous, which can lead to competitiveness, think about all that person did to get where they are. Admire their hard work and determination. You can even ask them how they achieved what they did, so you can learn from them. For instance, maybe a friend is getting a book published, a long time dream of yours. You could choose to be jealous, and turn that jealousy into competitiveness. On the other hand, you could choose admiration. Your friend has accomplished something amazing, and you can use that to inspire you to finish your own novel.
For instance, if you notice your co-worker has done an excellent job on a project, you could say, “Thanks for putting all of this together, Janine. You’re really great at organizing!” Don’t limit yourself to people you know. If you read an article online that you love, tell the author. If you notice someone doing a good job at a store, tell them. It never hurts to make someone’s day better.
Try thinking about all the things you’re grateful for before you get out of bed in the morning. You could also try a gratitude journal. Take the time to write down 5 things you’re grateful for every day. You can do it in a private journal, or you can even do it on social media, making a post each day about the things you’re grateful for.
