For example, you might add “happily single” to your social media profiles so that you entire social circle is aware of your intentions. That way, they won’t try to set up up with anyone or encourage others to pursue you romantically. If there’s someone in particular who likes you, you might vocalize your intentions by reminding them that you want to stay single or that you think of them only as a friend.
Keep in mind that being too goal-oriented could harm your social connections if you never make time for friends or family.
For instance, you might ask a coworker to remind you of your goals whenever they catch you laughing too hard at the new guy’s jokes. Your best friend might help you steer clear of the attractive bartender when you’re at a bar.
A self-care practice might involve eating nutritious meals, exercising at least 30 minutes per day, sleeping seven to nine hours each night, and making time for hobbies and passions.
Remind yourself why you’re awesome by reciting your positive traits daily. Take yourself out on dates to nice restaurants, movies, or concerts. Compliment yourself like a significant other would. Buy yourself special gifts, too. Additionally, showing that you are empowered and love yourself will show others how you expect to be treated. When you did get into a relationship, that person will know how you expect to be treated. Take the time to treat yourself with love, kindness, and respect.
For example, if this person asks you out for drinks, suggest that you make it a group activity to limit alone time. Instead, surround yourself with people like friends and family who are positive, uplifting, and make you feel great. They should be accepting and supportive of your feelings. Also, they should be contributing to your own visions, and understand that this is your own personal story to live.
Commit to unplugging during the times when you’re most likely to cyber-stalk. You might also get help from smartphone apps like Freedom and SelfControl. [6] X Research source
If you must interact with them, treat them with polite indifference, sticking to “hi” and “bye. ”
No one is perfect. Make a list of why this person isn’t. Review the list whenever you start thinking of them too highly. For instance, if you’re dealing with an old flame, you might list out why you broke up with them, including reasons like “He lies compulsively” or “She doesn’t prioritize spending time with me. "
Acknowledge that you like the person and really enjoy their company, but remind yourself that you’re not in the market for love right now. One way to do this is by examining key goals in your life that you would like to accomplish before falling in love again. For instance, maybe you’d like to finish your degree before entering a new relationship or maybe you want to travel the world.
For example, maybe you fear being cheated on because that happened in the past. Or, maybe you are afraid that falling in love with someone will make you give up on your dreams.
Ask yourself questions like: What do I usually do in these situations? Can I identify any common patterns that might influence the outcome? For instance, during your reflection, you might realize that you regularly enter into relationships before you have healed from a breakup. In these rebound dates, you’re just looking for someone so you’re not alone, but the people you choose aren’t good matches.
Another example is pushing people away because you fear abandonment. Then, when they leave, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try letting someone in for a change–the relationship just might turn out differently.
Think about the type of partner you typically fall for. Now, when you’re ready to date again, go for someone who is the complete opposite. For example, if you typically go for the “bad guy” demeanor, choose someone who is more conservative. Maybe you tend to like spontaneous people who blow off their responsibilities at the drop of a dime. But, you might find that going out with someone who is more serious and reliable may give you a more satisfactory relationship. Change it up and see.
Think about the pace of your relationships. If you tend to meet someone new and end up spending the whole weekend with them, go on one date and then wait a few days before seeing them again. If you tend to have sex on the first date, give yourself a longer window before becoming intimate. [13] X Research source
For example, if you’re worried about giving up your dreams for love, you might be sure that you enforce how important they are to any potential suitors. Also, make sure to prioritize them during the early stages of attachment when it’s more likely for you to lose focus. [15] X Research source
Ask your primary care provider for a referral to a therapist in your area.
