For instance, someone who’s always lived in a big city may not see the world the same way someone from a small town does.
Show the other person you’re paying attention to them by nodding at appropriate times and saying things like “Then what happened?” or “Mm-hmm. ”
For instance, maybe you and a new acquaintance can connect over your mutual love of mystery novels, or maybe you both came from large families.
Consider whether the person really meant to hurt you, or whether they were just acting in an inconsiderate or shortsighted way.
For instance, you might judge others for having a negative trait that you possess and dislike in yourself, even if you’re not consciously aware of it. You might also judge others when you’re feeling envious of them for some reason. If you are judging someone because they have hurt or upset you, you may want to find a healthier way to deal with your feelings. Try talking to the person about the situation.
Talking to lots of different people is one good way to adopt a more flexible mindset. You can also practice debating with yourself. Think of an idea you support, like “Cats make better pets than dogs. ” Then come up with some reasons people might disagree with you, like “Dogs are better pets for people who spend a lot of time outdoors. ”
For instance, if your workplace has just hired a new boss, don’t think, “She’s a manager – she must be uptight. ” Wait and see what she’s like in person.
For instance, if your friend forgets your birthday and you think, “She doesn’t care about me. This is the end of our friendship,” you’re thinking the worst. If you are feeling emotional, upset, or angry, try talking to a close friend. They may be able to provide a rational perspective while helping you process your emotions.
For instance, instead of telling yourself “I should eat vegetables tonight,” tell yourself, “I could eat vegetables tonight. ” Or, instead of thinking, “Other people should do it this way,” adjust your thinking to, “Other people don’t do it this way. I wonder if I can find out why. ”
Say something like, “I see where you’re coming from, but I still see it this way because…” A lot of minor disagreements aren’t worth getting worked up about. Save your energy by agreeing to disagree.
For instance, it doesn’t really matter if you and your spouse clean the kitchen differently, as long as the end result is a clean kitchen.
For instance, if you’re passionate about the environment and your family isn’t, don’t nag them to become more like you. Instead, focus on what you can do yourself, such as volunteering for community clean-ups.
