Don’t text him or send him emails, either. Consider erasing your text messages and emails from him so you won’t be tempted to re-read them and get nostalgic or upset. If you have strong urge to call him, then you might try calling up a friend instead and talk to her about your desire to call your ex. This will give you a chance to examine why you want to call and your friend can provide an objective perspective on why you probably should not call him.
If you have anything of his that is especially valuable or that he might want back, put it in a box and mail it back to him, or leave it on his front step. Avoid making contact with him in the process of giving the things back to him. Even if you never formally dated, get rid of or put away the things you have that remind you of him. For example, if you have photos of him around, consider getting rid of them to help get over him.
Consider taking a break from social media in general. That way, you won’t be constantly bombarded with status updates and photos about other couples that might make you think about the guy you’re trying to get over. Giving yourself a break from social media could be helpful.
Allow yourself to feel the pain of the breakup. Cry if you feel like crying about it and tell supportive friends how you feel. You may experience a range of emotions after a breakup, such as sadness, resentment, anger, and fear. Express how you are feeling by talking with people who care about you and who you can trust. Feeling your emotions may be uncomfortable, but it will help you to move on. You can also write about how you are feeling. [4] X Research source Try keeping a daily journal where you write about how you are feeling and then list five things that you are grateful for that day. Practicing gratitude can help to relive stress and help you to feel happier. [5] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School’s Educational Site for the Public Go to source Therefore, this can be an effective way to start to feel better after a breakup. Don’t relive the painful details of the breakup over and over. Just take some time each day for as long as you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings, such as 20 to 30 minutes per day. Try setting a timer to limit your grieving time. [6] X Research source After your grieving time is up, do something to help yourself feel better, such as meeting a friend for coffee, going for a walk, or engaging in a favorite hobby.
For example, if you often disagreed on movies and this caused problems, then your different tastes may have been one of the reasons for the breakup. Or, maybe you had a hard time trusting him when he was out with his friends, so you texted him often to deal with your worry. Don’t dwell on the negative aspects of your relationship. Just try to be thankful that you won’t have to deal with these negative aspects of the relationship anymore.
For example, what is your dream job? Would you like a new job or maybe just a promotion at your current job? Would you like to go back to school to train for a new job? If so, what might you need to do to start that process? Complete an application? Visit a local college? You might also think about personal wellness goals, such as losing weight, improving your self-esteem, or developing a spiritual practice. Give yourself permission to dream about what you want your life to look like and then identify some things you can do to move in that direction.
If you have the time and the means, try taking a little overnight trip somewhere. It doesn’t have to be far away—it could even just mean staying over at a friend’s house. It will get you out of your comfort zone, which is where you’re probably most likely to dwell on the guy you’re trying to get over.
Yoga is also a great option. It’s great for focusing on yourself and your breathing, as well as working on your physical health.
Instead of focusing on what you did or what he did, try to remind yourself that this is no one’s fault. Some people are just not compatible, and that is okay. It is important to find someone with whom you can communicate effectively and who can meet your needs as well as you meet his.
Instead of going out on dates in the meantime, go out with your friends instead. Do things in groups and enjoy your time as a single person.
Flirting can also help you boost your self-confidence a bit if you’re feeling a little low after the loss of a relationship. Making yourself feel good is a good way to help yourself move forward.
If you do write a list, keep it somewhere you can see it often, like on the fridge or in the dash of your car. That way, it will always be visible in case you need to be reminded of all the good in your life.
If you are a college student, your school may offer counseling services for free, or for a small fee. Check with your student services office.
