The worries that are outside your control— save those for later.
List out, step-by-step, actionable ways you can deal with or address the particular worry. For instance, your debt is an actionable worry, so write out some realistic steps for attacking it. These might include putting all your extra money towards the smallest debt each month, getting a part-time job, or cutting back on luxuries.
For example, if you want to rekindle the romance in your marriage, you might plan to have an hour of unplugged quality time with your partner each evening. Taking baby steps helps you build stronger habits over time rather than trying to do it all at once.
For instance, if you and your spouse nearly split years ago, you might draw on that memory (and the fact that you withstood the forces against you) to help you overcome the present-day roadblocks.
Do this monthly to make sure you stay on course.
For instance, if you worry about getting fired from your job, question the evidence that supports your concern. Have you gotten several write-ups? Are you a liability to your employer? Has your employer threatened to fire you? If you answered “no" to those questions, then there’s no evidence to support this worry.
Let’s say the worst-case scenario happened and you were fired from your job. Would being fired devastate you or would you be secretly relieved? Could you get a new job or possibly pursue a new career path? Would this outcome have disastrous effects that you could not handle? Getting fired can certainly be a terrible outcome, but, by doing this exercise, you’ll likely realize that it wouldn’t be the end of you.
For instance, if you’re worried about losing your job and that’s out of your control, set aside an emergency fund to help you pay your bills while you hunt for a new job. If you’re worried about developing a health condition that runs in your family, visit the doctor regularly, eat well, and exercise more often.
No matter how much you worry, it won’t change the fact that everything is not in your control.
Clear your mind of everything that’s weighing it down and then commit to not letting these worries intrude on your day. If you empty you worries out each morning, you’ll have a better chance of staying present during the day.
For instance, if you are driving, turn off the radio, don’t take calls, and tune in to the cars and scenery around you. If you ever notice your worries popping up, refocus on the single task you’re doing. [17] X Expert Source Chloe Carmichael, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 19 July 2019. This helps you overcome worrying by focusing on the here and now.
Use deep breathing to help you reconnect with the present moment whenever worries about the future arise.
You might write something like, “I arrived at work 20 minutes early" or “My friend bought me lunch. ” A daily gratitude practice will help bring you back to the present instead of being so focused on future outcomes.
